Imagine a city commuter scrolling past a headline: New study says red wine prevents heart disease. That's what mandatory plain language can produce: stripped-down nuance, no confidence intervals, no caveats, just a neat claim. Yes, publicly funded science should be accessible, and better communication is good. But forcing every scientist to translate every paper into plain language doesn't create understanding; it creates distortion and wastes lab time. I'd rather fund translators and reward outreach. The public deserves accuracy more than a rule that turns complex findings into clickbait.