Calling something a utility is a legal claim, not a compliment. Utilities are natural monopolies: one set of pipes, one provider, captive customers. The internet doesn't fit that model. Cable, fiber, fixed wireless, and satellite compete, and providers differ block by block. Utility regulation means rate-of-return rules and price caps, which historically depressed network investment. Before we reclassify infrastructure, someone has to show peer-reviewed evidence that utility status delivers faster, cheaper, broader service. That evidence doesn't exist. Competition, not a 1930s regulatory category, drives buildout.